


Suffering Fools

by Aspidities



Series: Suffering Fools [1]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alex is constantly overhearing them and it’s awful, Alex plays matchmaker for one Alien Idiot, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Poor Alex needs to get laid, Smut, True idiots in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-09 02:04:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17992775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aspidities/pseuds/Aspidities
Summary: Alex has a very sleepless night and has to play matchmaker to two absolute idiots in love.





	Suffering Fools

Alex was very asleep and at first she thought the noises were in her dream. 

She’d been dreaming about Sam, as usual. Sam’s sad smile. Sam’s dexterous hands. She was carefully being maneuvered back onto a couch—Kara’s, for some reason—and the brunette was giving her that heartbreaking smile. Her fingers were wickedly dancing up Alex’s inseams, reaching for that tender place between her legs that ached and throbbed.

Then her mouth opened and Lena Luthor’s voice came out.

“ _ Oh, oh God, please do it like that again!” _

Alex was confused, but not altogether turned off, even when dream Sam blended into Lena’s finer, more aristocratic features. Dreams were like that: one time she started out fucking Maggie and it morphed into Imra. Sara Lance had showed up a few times. It wasn’t unheard of. It was, though,  _ very _ discomfiting the way Lena kept making noises—deeply pornographic, and frankly un-Luthor-like noises. And even  _ more _ uncomfortable when she realized she could definitely hear Kara, somewhere in the room.

_ “Shhh Lena, fuck, turn over—“ _

This was so jarring that she awoke, startled. 

She was still on Kara’s couch, under the quilt Eliza had knitted for Kara’s graduation, and she could vaguely remember why—Kara had tried to bail on Game Night but she’d wanted company, and to cry over Sam’s departure a bit. Kara, like the good sister she was, had easily acquiesced and ordered in some takeout. They’d gone through some wine, too many potstickers to count, and a Netflix special on puppies. That did the trick, apparently, and she must’ve fallen asleep, because she was still in her clothes and—-

“Okay, lift your ass up a bit. Yeah, yeah that’s  _ good _ .”

—and that was definitely Kara, in her bedroom, behind that stupid curtain that was blocking absolutely  _ zero  _ noise. 

Alex listened, horrified, as a flurry of muffled moans greeted what sounded like a light smacking.  _ My sister is spanking someone right now _ . Her stomach turned into knots and she suddenly felt very lightheaded, almost nauseous. 

There was another, louder moan, and—yep, that was definitely a female voice.  _ My sister, my alien, supposedly-not-gay sister is spanking a woman right now.  _

There was a lot to process in that alone, but Alex was currently distracted both by her absolute paralyzed state on the couch, and the weird fact that those feminine, breathy moans were somehow  _ familiar _ ? Alex’s first thought was her dream, but that was impossible, that couldn’t be—

“ _ Kara _ , you feel so good, God,  _ fuck _ .”

—and that was _definitely_ Lena Luthor, in Kara’s bedroom, behind the stupid, _stupid_ fucking curtain that was blocking _absolutely_ _zero_ fucking noise and Alex was certain her jaw was going to drop right off her face. 

Kara shushed Lena, somewhat frantically, but there was no denying the sounds of what they were doing on that mattress. Alex knew those noises very intimately—she was pretty sure every lesbian did.  _ Wet  _ sounds. She tried to cover her ears with the pillow, but it was no use—she knew what that meant. 

_ My very-not-gay-sister is very-not-gay fucking her best friend, on her bed, right now. And I can hear all of it. All. Of. It.  _

Alex had a strange, horrible urge to laugh, but she strangled it into a cough, hoping Kara would get the hint. She didn’t however, and the frenzied, muffled sounds only seemed to increase in pace. Her sister was clearly—for once—deaf to the world, and probably not paying very much attention to anything that wasn’t a naked Lena Luthor bent over on her bed. Especially because—judging by the noises—Lena was getting very close to coming. 

_ Well, great. Do I just lay here until she finishes, or…? _

Alex felt a sour twist to her face. There hadn’t been anyone after Maggie, and then Sam…. Well, that was a whole thing itself. She felt, perhaps, a touch too bitter about her supposedly-non-lesbian sister having more lesbian sex than she was currently having. It just wasn’t fair. 

It was also very close by, and Alex wasn’t sure why it wasn’t happening at Lena Luthor’s spacious apartment, with ample privacy and a—presumably—squeak-free mattress. Or how Lena got  _ here.  _ Unless Kara just flew her over for a booty call. That was troubling enough to consider. 

That was all abruptly cut off by a gasping, drawn-out moan that signaled Lena’s orgasm. Alex breathed a quiet sigh of relief.  _ Good, okay they’re done. It’s done now.  _ She closed her eyes, expecting the noises to die down into perhaps some soft kissing or sweet nothings. But it did not. 

Her sister, it seemed, had Kryptonian stamina. 

“Kara, Kara, I can’t possibly— _ oh. _ ”

“Yeah, yeah, you can.” Kara’s voice was strange—Alex didn’t think she’d ever heard her sound so  _ confident  _ before. It implied she was definitely enjoying whatever she was doing to Lena.  _ My suddenly-gay sister is a top, apparently. That’s...well, that’s unexpected.  _

As Lena let out a soft, hitching breath, Alex rolled over and stifled a frustrated yell into a pillow.  _ This is going to be a very long night.  _

 

                                                    ***

It was. 

Kara tiptoed into the kitchen near dawn, with a dopey, happy expression plastered on her face and a telltale stain on her tank top. She was headed for the coffee maker, but Alex met her instead, arms crossed and eyes bloodshot. The Kryptonian stopped dead in her tracks and her eyes widened. 

“Oh, hey, Alex, I was just gonna make coffee.” Kara tried, brightly. 

Alex inclined the bedroom with her chin. “Yeah, I bet she’s gonna need the caffeine.”

Kara paled. “Wh-who? Alex, there’s no one—“

“Kara.” Alex was in no mood. “I listened to you  _ fuck _ Lena. All. Night.”

Kara swallowed and deliberately avoided looking in the direction of the bedroom. Something very interesting appeared to have developed on the ceiling, judging by her face. “Oh. So you. Um. Heard that.”

“ _ All night.”   _ Alex gesticulated, wildly. “And since when are you fucking Lena Luthor?”

Kara looked strikingly guilty. “Alex, I don’t know what you think—“

“Kara?” 

Lena herself emerged from behind the curtain, dressed in one of Kara’s oversized sleep shirts. It barely brushed the tops of her thighs, and her hair was tousled in a way that gave no illusions over what she’d spent the night doing. 

Alex looked at Kara, who steadfastly refused to meet her eyes and flushed a deep red. “Lena! I was just going to make coffee.”

“Let me do it.” The Luthor stretched like a cat, and the t-shirt rose. Alex averted her eyes, quickly. “You’re hopeless with machinery. Good morning, Alex.”

“Good morning, Lena.” Alex responded out of polite habit, and guided Kara out of the kitchen by one elbow as Lena popped the k-cup into the Keurig with careless efficiency. 

When she’d towed Kara a safe enough distance away, Alex dropped her voice into a hiss. “You wanna tell me what she’s doing here?”

Kara shifted from side to side and rubbed her neck. “Well, we had plans last night but you, well, kinda—“

“Interrupted.” Alex finished. “I see that now. But why is she  _ here?  _ And not at her  _ perfectly acceptable apartment with an actual bedroom?’ _

“There was a bomb threat at her place!” Kara looked plaintive. “She needed a place to stay the night safely and I—“

“A bomb threat.” Alex repeated, slowly. She turned over her shoulder and caught sight of Lena looking at her over the rim of a mug. The Luthor gave her a slow, smug blink that told her everything she needed to know. 

_ Bomb threat my ass. That girl just wanted to get laid.  _ Part of Alex—the non-sleep-deprived part—was actually mildly impressed. The rest of her felt like rubbing her forehead until it turned red. 

“And you thought she would be safest if you were physically inside of her?”

Kara fidgeted. “N-no, not exactly, we just were….cuddling. You know, like friends do.”

“Cuddling?” Alex’s mouth dropped open. This was beyond the par. She was prepared to have an awkward conversation, sure, but not one in which her sister was in apparent outright denial about the very loud, very gay sex she’d been having. “Kara, I’m  _ gay _ and I’ve never  _ cuddled _ with my friends like that.”

Her sister shifted from side to side, deliberately avoiding her eyes. “Can we...not...talk about this right now?”

Alex followed her gaze. Lena was watching them with undisguised interest. She didn’t seem pleased with what she was hearing, either. ‘Cuddling’ had probably been the last thing on her mind, if the noises had been any indication. Her eyes were bright green slits. The Keurig made a rippling, belching noise that did nothing to cut the tension. 

_ Oh shit.  _

“Fine.” Alex released her sister’s elbow and stepped back. “Go. Take her home. And then come back here and explain.”

Kara nodded like a puppet jerking its head on a string, and fairly shot over to Lena. There was a quick, sharp, whispered conversation, and then, Lena was rolling her eyes and stalking past Kara to the bedroom. Kara cast a quick anguished glance after her, and then back at Alex, and wavered in the kitchen, looking forlorn, until Lena emerged again, fully clothed this time. She looked very unimpressed. 

Kara went to her, almost immediately, but Lena just strode smoothly to the door. Her lacquered fingernails clicked ominously on the wood, and she refused to look Kara in the eyes. Instead, she zeroed in on her phone as if it were the most interesting thing in the world and yanked the door open. 

“See you both later.” She gave a curt little half-wave that Alex instinctively returned, and then left, unceremoniously.

Kara exhaled, but Alex rounded on her. Enough was enough. She needed to get to the bottom of whatever the hell she’d just stepped in. 

“What the hell was that? You’re gonna tell me that wasn’t a  _ girlfriend _ fight, just now?”

“We’re not girlfriends.” Kara replied, tonelessly. “She’s just mad because I—“ She swallowed and looked at the door again, as if she could materialize Lena behind it. “I don’t actually know why.”

“I think I can take a guess.” Alex snorted. “You really don’t have any idea, do you?”

“Of what?” 

Alex gave in to her itching fingers and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “ _ Well _ , Kara, I’ll start with friends don’t fuck each other all night.”

Kara rubbed her arms. Her ears were red. “No. It’s not like that, it’s just a, thing. Like a stress release thing. She knows how rough my job is, and she...she….”

“She lets you pile drive her in the name of stress release?” Alex bit back a wild urge to laugh. “She’s, uh...some friend, I guess.”

Kara bobbed her head restlessly. “Yes, she is, she really is, but lately I just seem to make her  _ mad _ all the time.”

_ Oh boy.  _  “Kara.” Alex waited until she could be more patient with her tone. “I don’t think Lena sees you as a friend.”

Kara looked puppy-dog hurt. “Yes she does, Alex! She’s the best friend I’ve ever had, and I don’t like it when you—“

“ _ Kara _ .” Alex interrupted, firmly. “I think Lena sees you as a girlfriend.  _ Girlfriends _ have sex. Friends generally do not.”

“Oh.” Kara went quiet and unusually still.

“Yes. ‘Oh’.” Alex echoed. She put her hand on Kara’s hunched back, rubbing to help take some of the sting off of her words. “I know you’re sometimes a little behind on Earth customs but—“

“I know sex is serious!” Kara cut her off, voice rising almost hysterically. “But Lena said, well, she said that—“ 

Her Kryptonian sister looked rather helpless, and the emotion was so unfamiliar to Alex that she hugged her shoulders, tightly. “Oh boy. Okay. Walk me through what she said. No details on the first time, though.  _ Please _ .”

 

                                                                                ***

And that was how Alex learned that her sister was hopelessly, and cluelessly, in love with her best friend. It came out in halting bits and starts over coffee, and then more at the donut shop, and then still further over drinks at the alien bar. By the end of a very long and exhaustive day, Alex’s detective skills had learned three things: 

  1. Her sister had been banging Lena Luthor for about six weeks, give or take.
  2. It started over drinks after she broke up with James. 
  3. Kara had absolutely no idea how deeply, obviously in love she was.



Like,  _ none _ . 

“Alex, she’s just a friend.” Kara repeated earnestly. “A very, very good friend. The best friend I’ve ever had. And she said this...sex...stuff didn’t have to change anything if I don’t want it to. And I don’t!” 

“Uh-huh.” Alex was leaning into her palm. She’d heard iterations of this all night. “And why do you think she offered that?”

“Because we’re—“

“—Such good friends. Yes. I heard. But how do you feel when you think about her naked?”

Immediate blush. Kara went redder than the color of her cape. “Well, that’s just….I don’t, uh…I should probably not—“

“Uh-huh.” Alex repeated, arching a brow. “You ever think about her when you touch yourself?”

Kara’s eyes told her the truth before she guiltily darted them back down to her glass, which was glowing an eerie purple. 

“I don’t even know why you’d a-ask that.” She took a strong swig and then grimaced. “Oh, I always forget how Daxamite Rum burns going down.”

“What about when you think about something happening to her?” Alex changed tactics, leaning in. Her whiskey was abandoned by her elbow. She saw the shudder run through Kara and pursued it, mercilessly. “What do you think about if you imagine her hurt?”

“No. I don’t like that.” Kara looked pale and stricken. “Why would I? She’s my friend! I’m  _ allowed _ to worry about her. And fear for her safety. She’s never  _ safe  _ Alex, and it’s always scary for me so—“ She swallowed. 

“Kara.” Alex was losing patience rapidly. “Do you think maybe, just  _ maybe _ , it’s hard to access your feelings for Lena because you’re uncomfortable with having yet another thing you have to ‘come out’ with?” She didn’t wait for her sister to respond before continuing. “Because, as someone who has done that whole process, let me tell you—you have support, you have people who love you, and it’s easier than you’d think, given those circumstances. Not everyone is so lucky.”

“I know that.” Kara was quiet, looking into her glass like it was the bottom of the ocean. “I know I’m lucky.”

“And you’re lucky to have Lena,” Alex prodded gently. “No matter what she is to you. But Kar?” She touched Kara’s long fingers. “If she  _ is _ something to you—something more than friends—you should probably tell her before you have sex again. Because, otherwise it’s not very fair to either of you.” 

Kara was nodding slowly, and it seemed like realization was finally going to dawn, but then her brow crinkled, and her head jerked up, looking somewhere past Alex’s left shoulder. A familiar, dazed grin plastered onto her face and suddenly, Kara was standing up and waving like an idiot, all frantic arms and elbows. 

“Lena! Hey, Lena!”

_ Oh crap.  _

And indeed, it was Lena Luthor herself, swanning toward them through the crowded bar, looking absurdly sinful in a navy blue off-the-shoulder number. Her posture was uncomfortable, hands tight on her purse, and her shoulders looked constricted. Alex could guess why. A few patrons had already noticed her, and it wasn’t just for her attractiveness: the daughter of National City’s most xenophobic family was probably a rare sight in a mixed alien-human setting like this.  _ She means business, coming down here.  _

“Hello.” Lena’s chin jerked in polite acknowledgment to Alex, but her eyes were on Kara. “Kara, I thought I’d find you here. Can we….talk?”

_ Oh, I see. That kind of business.  _

Kara’s head bobbed up and down like a toy. She wasn’t even remotely looking at Alex anymore, and the elder Danvers sighed with quiet realization that her sister only had eyes for Lena at this point. “Sure! Uhm, what did you want to—“

Lena gave a pointed look in Alex’s direction. “Perhaps, somewhere a little more private?”

_ As if I haven’t heard you screaming my sister’s name all night long.  _ Alex snorted into her neglected whiskey and covered it with a quick cough. 

“Yeah, yeah, sure, let’s go outside really quick. Alex, would you mind…?” 

Alex waved a hand. “By all means.” 

She watched her sister eagerly escort Lena through to the exit that led to the smoker’s patio, and rolled her eyes at the way Kara was practically bouncing.  _ She’s got it so bad. Poor kid. I hope Lena doesn’t bite her head off for being so oblivious.  _ She turned back to her whiskey, deciding to order a second one and drink it faster this time. 

Two whiskeys later, and Alex was comfortably settled in a deep buzz that started from behind her neck, down her shoulder blades to her spine. Drunk Alex felt far better about her love life and prospective career changes than Sober Alex, and that was certainly a pleasant turn of events. The TV was playing some wrestling match that was fun to hoot and holler over, and there were red little peanuts with the perfect salt-to-sweet ratio. Plenty of pretty girls were filtering in and out, too, and some even smiled her way. 

She was quite happy at the bar, in fact, but gradually a dull sort of awareness swept over her that Kara and Lena had been gone for a while. That was a little perplexing, but certainly not troubling. At least, not at first. 

_ Kara can handle herself.  _ She reasoned, examining the amber liquid at the bottom of the crystal glass.  _ Even if she did have two drinks. Or more. I actually can’t remember how many she had. Oh dear.  _

Alex wavered a little on her bar stool and blinked, blearily, as she considered her options. Finally, the sliver of sobriety won out, and she hopped off the stool, which wobbled precariously in reaction. 

“I gotta go find my sister.” She announced, to no one in particular, and threw a pair of twenties down on the bar. 

(In retrospect, it was absolutely bound to happen, and if she’d been even the slightest bit more sober, it would have crossed her mind. But she was, unfortunately, very drunk, and so it did not.)

Alex had to blink several times to clear her eyes once she stepped into the cool night air. It was pleasantly balmy outside, but there weren’t any smokers to be found on the patio. At least, not in her immediate view. There was some kind of dark movement in the farthest corner, and a flash of pale white, but, at first, she couldn’t see what it was. She squinted. 

And then immediately regretted it. 

“Fuck, fuck,  _ fuck _ .” Lena almost sounded like she was sobbing. Her thighs were the pale ghost in the darkness; they were exposed, and her dress was rucked up almost past her belly button. The low scoop neck was pulled down to reveal a latticework of dark, lustful marks around the tops of her breasts. Her chest was heaving and her chin was tilted back. She looked debauched. And  _ close.  _

The dark thing moving over her was Kara. Ponytail down, shirt unbuttoned, and jeans undone. She was pumping her fingers into Lena. Three of them, making wet, obscene noises. Alex could see the slippery glisten on her knuckles as she withdrew. Lena’s fingers clutched at her back, and Kara seemed to take that as an incentive to drive deeper, harder. 

“Take it,” growled her meek and mild little foster sister. She nudged into Lena’s collarbone and bit down. “You’re  _ so _ beautiful when you take it….yes, Lena,  _ yes _ .”

Alex felt perhaps she had entered her own personal hell, in which she was now apparently forced to watch her sister have sex around every corner. It was a purgatory unknown even to Dante, really. 

_ Why, God? Why me? Why is this happening again? _

She let out something between a yelp and a strangled  _ oh shit _ and her hand smacked into her own face, covering her eyes. However, Drunk Alex had far less accuracy and so she instead wound up practically punching herself backwards. The momentum sent her flailing for purchase against the patio furniture and she managed to drag down a pair of plastic chairs in clattering succession. The cold, slightly wet gravel hit her behind soundly and the breath went out of her in a  _ whump.  _

“Oh  _ Rao _ , Alex!” She heard, rather than saw, Kara’s quick disengagement from between Lena’s legs as her sister used superspeed to rush to her side. “Are you okay?” 

Alex opened one eye to see Kara guiltily reaching towards her and let out a choked scream. “ _ Do  _ **_not_ ** _ touch me with that hand.” _

“Oh. Shit. Sorry.” Kara quickly withdrew, looking miserably embarrassed. She wiped her fingers carelessly on her shirt, and Alex could see the glint they left behind. 

Behind her, Alex could just make out Lena adjusting her dress back down, and pulling the neckline above her breasts once more. She looked rather put-out by the interrupted orgasm, which was understandable— Alex couldn’t really blame her for that. 

“Alex, I’m so sorry,” Kara cast a look back at Lena, who was examining her with arms folded. “We started talking and...uh…”

“Let me guess.” Alex managed, with a wheeze, as she rubbed her sore tailbone. “You started...cuddling?”

Kara opened her mouth and then shut it with a snap. She looked helplessly at Lena. Lena was fixing her with a narrowed, purposeful gaze. They both looked like idiots. Alex rubbed her ass, and, wincing, got to her feet. 

“Okay.” She dusted her pants down. “I’ve had about enough of this. All night last night, and now all day. You,” she pointed at Kara. “You _tell_ _her_ right now.”

“Tell me what?” Lena came forward, looking interested. Kara swallowed. 

Alex was fed up, sexually frustrated, and full of too much whiskey. “That she’s in love with you, of course.”

Kara sucked in a breath, but no one was looking at her. Lena’s red-lined mouth pursed, and her eyes widened for a moment, until her green gaze hardened back into resolve.  

“She is not.” Lena informed Alex, silkily, but with no small degree of rough-edged pain behind it. “Believe me, I know it appears otherwise, but—“

Kara coughed, and they both turned to look at her. “Well. I mean. That’s not.” She shifted awkwardly. “Not. Um. Not  _ entirely _ correct.”

Alex groaned, inwardly, but Lena went suddenly still beside her. “What do you mean, Kara?”

Her sister swallowed. Her eyes darted to Alex for reassurance and Alex gestured frantically.  _ Tell her, you moron. Spit it out already. _

“I mean. I do. Love you. Lena. Um. I am.  _ In _ love. With you.” There was a silence that seemed to hang on eternity and then Kara coughed again. “If that’s okay.”

Alex snorted, loudly, at that, but neither Lena nor Kara seemed to hear. Lena was looking at her sister wide-eyed, as if she had just seen her for the first time, and Kara had the same moonstruck expression. Alex knew what was going to come next before it even happened. 

“You...don’t want to just have sex?” Lena asked, and, if Alex wasn’t a damn good agent, she would have missed the tiniest hint of quaver to her voice. “You...feel things for me? Even though I’m a—“

“—A Luthor. Yeah, I do. I really. Really do.” Kara was getting bolder now, and Alex could see her shoulders straighten. She adjusted her glasses. “Lena, I—“

“Okay.” Alex put up her hands. “I did my job. You two talk it out. I’m gonna go before you guys start  _ cuddling _ again.”  

She gave Kara a wavering thumbs up, pivoted on her heel, and didn’t stop moving until she was back in the bar. Kara called after her, but that was unimportant. It was far more important that Alex get a glass of water and an alka-seltzer or she was going to vomit up around $30 worth of whiskey. 

It turns out she did, anyway, but that was later, back in the sanctity of her own apartment. As she crawled from her bathroom into her bed, mouth dry and head pounding, she spared a thought for her sister. 

_ Oh, Kara, you big dumb idiot. I think you would have probably figured it out on your own. Eventually. Maybe.  _

She went to sleep still wondering. 

 

                                                                               ***

Alex slept for fourteen blissful hours. 

When she woke up, it was to the door buzzer. The delivery person had disappeared by the time she managed to pull a sweatshirt on over her mismatched pajama top and stumble to the door, but the package remained. Several of them, in fact.

The hallway to her apartment was overflowing in flowers. And not just flowers. Candy boxes piled into an impromptu leaning tower of Pisa, a stuffed bear that was at least 6’ tall, and a spray of Mylar balloons, all emblazoned with  _ Thank You  _ in looping script. Alex blinked down at an envelope on the nearest vase of gardenias and picked up. It was addressed to her. 

_ Dear Alex,  _

_ Thank you for suffering two fools. I deeply appreciate you helping Kara come to her senses—I figured it would take a year or more. You expedited the process very nicely and I am forever in your debt.  _

_ Yours,  _

_ Lena Luthor _

There was a postscript in Kara’s hasty, scrabbled hand:

_ YOU WERE RIGHT. 100%  _

And that was really worth smiling about. Even if she didn’t know what the hell she was going to do with all these fucking flowers.

 

                                                                                ***

_ Two Weeks Later _

 

Alex was having a really great day at work. Three DEO agents so far had called her ‘Director’ Danvers without having to be prompted, they had managed to get Kara out of the public eye once more, and someone cleaned the coffee machine over the weekend so her first cup of the day was gloriously unburned. She was practically whistling as she made her way down to the training rooms, ready to take some hits in a sparring session. 

“Uhhh, Director?” Brainy called out to her before she could put her hand to the door of the Kryptonite training room. “You may not want to go in there.”

His normally-taciturn composure looked close to breaking. Alex quirked a brow at him. “Why, is Kara not here yet?”

“Oh, no, she’s in there.” Brainy took what sounded like a painful swallow. “With Lena.”

Alex, regrettably, high on clean caffeine and a pleasant work buzz, missed his meaning entirely and shook her head, frowning. “She can’t spar with her girlfriend—that’s not a real workout. I’m going in.”

Brainy’s eyes widened. “Director, no, I really wouldn’t—“

She turned the handle on the Kryptonite room and went in. 

“Kara? Kara, are you— _ oh my God, not again!” _

Kara was, indeed, getting a workout. On her back, on the floor of the training room, with her sweats around her ankles and a harness around her waist. Lena was riding her, slowly rotating her hips down onto what looked like a very impressive 7” of silicone. She was naked. Her breasts were slick with sweat and her thighs quivered, slightly. 

“Ohmy _ god.”  _ Alex clutched the door, reflexively. 

“Alex!” Kara squeaked and sat up, inadvertently jostling Lena, who let out a sharp cry. She wrapped her arms protectively around her girlfriend, but that was doing very little to shield her nakedness. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s the training room!” Alex covered her eyes and yelled at Kara’s general direction. “Why the  _ hell _ are you two fucking in the training room?” A second, worse thought occurred to her. “And why are you wearing a strap right now?!”  

“Well, it’s the only place where my powers are dampened enough so she can—“ 

Kara began, all-too-earnestly, before Lena thankfully managed to cut her off with a quick throat clearing sound. Kara had taken to communication with gusto, unfortunately. Lately Alex had had to stop her several times from oversharing sex details, but she didn’t seem to understand when to stop. 

Alex was already groping for the handle behind her. “Nope. No more, I don’t need anymore details. I regret ever helping you.” 

As the door slammed shut, she heard a feminine, throaty laugh, and shuddered. 

“I’m never helping you with anything ever again!” 

Alex yelled at the door, but the occupants of the room had resumed their prior activities. Moans and muffled grunts started to resume, reverberating through the doorframe, and Alex jerked her hand away from it as if it had burned her. 

“I warned you.” Brainy looked morose. “It’s been going on all morning.”

Alex rubbed her nose. “I’m going to go home early.” She decided. “And if Kara comes out of there alive, let her know I’m going to charge her a cleaning bill for the room.”

She turned on her heel and headed for the bar. It was time for a series of stiff drinks. 

And maybe she’d give Sam a call. Just to see what she was doing.

 

                                                   **** 

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Hate it? Come yell at me on [ Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/bitterbones87) about it. <3


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